Home is where the heart is…but ‘loving’ isn’t the same as ‘caregiving’

We all want what's best for our kūpuna. But it's easy to confuse ‘loving’ our kūpuna with ‘providing care’ for our kūpuna.

As caregivers often witness first-hand, so many families become stressed, resentful, and fractured by trying to provide care to their kūpuna, and sometimes the result can be disastrous. And the more care a kupuna needs throughout the day and night, the higher the stakes. Sound familiar? You are not alone!

Caregiver for elderly adults is hard work, full stop. But it is often more difficult for family members than for professionals because of family history and dynamics (it's much easier for mom to refuse the kids than a hired caregiver, especially at home). And family members are not often trained to identify and successfully prevent problems early on.

But no hired caregiver can ever replace family. Caregivers can very successfully assist with activities of daily living, keep track of medications, and provide companionship. But they simply cannot provide a kupuna with the love, familiarity, and sense of belonging that a child, spouse, or relative can.

It's a rare gift for a family member to be a great caregiver, but for the rest of us it's better to do what we do best. Are you finding that your relationship with your kupuna is suffering as a result of being his/her caregiver? If so, focus on your family bond and relationship, then leave the multitude of everyday care tasks to professionals who you can trust.

Before you go…

• If you don’t know where to begin, we have a short quiz which can help you to find the right senior care option forr your kupuna. Click here to check it out.